Clog Introduction

This is not a blog...


This is a clog...

A consciousness log, a literary distillate of the very basis of sentient perception filtered through a fine screen of heavy allegory, pointless rambling, and overly-ambitious sentence structure. This is not a place where you will find someone writing about what they bought at the nearest convenience last Tuesday, or voicing their opinions about their local government representatives or how Linux will bring about world peace any day now. No, this is a place where symphonies are composed of drunken ramblings, where intellectual plankton blooms from each and every interrobang, where long and pleasantly deranged narratives about moles, aether, and ancient seas, and even the occasional Adolf Wölfli-style comic strip all find their home together in one grand cognitive object d’art for all the family. In other words, this website is either an experimental attempt at creating the most pretentious thing ever known to man; or a post-modern first step in discovering the true nature of reality. In any event, the following is best read in the most enjoyably preposterous voice you’re mind/preferred text-to-speech program can manage; and also feel free to copy-and-paste any portion of this text, creatively alter it using Burroughsian text-cut-up software, even use it as a seed to start a clog of your own (it’s a way of life!).

(all spelling/grammatical mistakes in the following have been left in intentionally for authenticity.)

-Part I: Dionysian Litany in 5 Parts, Allegro-

1) Badly Derailed Biblical Commentary (or something)

It all works if you own a guitar. This is all a mistake, writing that was a mistake too; but oh well. Isaac made a discovery. Aaron is insane. Syrup of noodles! This is the first post! this is the ultimate experience. Everything is fine, everything is at peace, this is a clog in the collective mind of the universe itself. It is great. it is not a blog. we read this in the morning, we read this in the evening. ‘tis good, ‘tis good. His toenails are painted. this is like The Untitled Document. She was just not cool about any of it. I garden the collective mind of the universe itself, for that is why I am called The Wayward Gardener. Arrest the the Pope!

2) The Driving Suite (beginning to lose coherency)

She may be haggard, but all is well. The Conciousness log. This can totally be edited. That is so stupid....Maybe too much so. It is okay. Ley mwe drive. If im not aliv. oh well. Tammy was like 32!!! This is whatnot it is....This is the first post on the clog. Editing may be required. Note to self; don’t fall in the pool. th. DRIVE. THIS is just tooo much. Let Madison drive. THIS is the driving suite. I’m still alive. but if not. Oh well, suavè. Maybe too far. I don’t think I canm drive right now.


3) The Chlorinated Quinine Retrospective (totally unhinged)

This is so good. EVerything is happening as it’s sposed to be!!!! The water makes people normal. Everythin is a mouth in one sense or another. This is the masterpiece of conciousness. A turning point. Aweake fro the dream. But is it really clogged or just broken‽ awake from another dream in Costa Rica,,,I have emerged, don’t forget the triple comma. “Awaken from the dream, my son, And you will have a new sense of everything”.

4) Doubting Integrity (regaining composure)

Billy Everest was right, this was too weird. What will be usable from this disaster? But truly it is an epic in it’s own right, is it not? Shouldn’t apologise for you’re iPhone, it’s alright.




5) The Hedonist’s Revelation

With Dave Brubeck in the background, he realizes the purpose of his life is that one should not mostly not care about it. Pleasure is the ultimate good, pain is the ultimate evil; Practical Hedonism. Just watch out; this is important, don’t forget to ask for the phone numbers of you’re revelation! What is to be changed...what is not! This should be truly groundbreaking. You will never forget! so don’t worry about it!!! The tune of the Spider!!! Alot of exclamation points!!! This is important. This is The Power... That’s right!!! + ∞ happiness.

This...
Is....
A...
Clog!!!!!!!!!


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Consider the barren, empty lots of your imagination tastefully gardened...